Week of Prayer - Day 7

Today keep Joseph and me in your prayers. Sometime in the next 24 hours our court case is scheduled to be held. Hopefully we will hear tomorrow, Monday, if we passed or not and if Tate is legally our son. We'll let you all know as soon as we know. Pray that we respond to whatever news we receive with faith and hope and that we would get some sleep tonight as we eagerly wait to find out the outcome.

Check back tomorrow for news!

Week of Prayer - Day 6

Today please pray for our son, Tate. Pray that he would somehow be prepared for the massive changes that are about to happen in his life. He has no idea what is coming and one day will just begin to live life with new people, then fly to a new home where he'll experience more new people, new smells, new sounds, new everything. Pray that he adjusts well and stays healthy though the transition.

Week of Prayer - Day 5

Today please pray for MOWA (Ethiopia's social services type organization). They are a very busy office and with the number of adoptions going through Ethiopia right now, they have a difficult time keeping up. There is one letter in particular that needs to be written by them for our court case. Many times this is written the day of the court date, so if anything goes wrong, it causes a delay. Pray that the letter would be written on time and correctly. Also pray for MOWA as they increase staffing and computer equipment to keep up with the increasing demands of time.

Also pray for our son's original orphanage. They will need to submit his original paperwork and information. They are not located in the capital city, so pray that everything makes it to court on Monday (Monday is SO soon!!!).

God has brought me back to being in submission and dependance on Him in this whole process through the fingerprint update glitch. A praise that yesterday I was able to talk with people at the National Visa Center, who actually were very helpful AND called me back after looking into our case. I also FINALLY figured out how to talk to a real, live person at the USCIS office in Indianapolis! It only took me a year to figure that one out, but I realized that all the emails from them had a name at the bottom, so I went from the automated voice menu to the directory to enter someone's name in and Voila! a real, live person answered the phone! If you want info, just email me and I'd be happy to share :-)

What has been going on with our fingerprint update is that the NVC (National Visa Center) began uploading updates instead of emailing them to the Embassy in Addis. The Embassy did not know this and were still looking for emails, not knowing they had to go to another site and download the updates. The NVC assured me that our updates are uploaded and ready for them to download the information. Our agency rep. is quite confident that the NVC and Embassy will communicate and get this figured out by Monday. Apparently there are a number of families who are in the same boat and they are taking care of it. So, praise God!! Mostly I'm so thankful I was able to get through to people on the phone. I don't always have internet at home, so that was very helpful!

Keep praying!!! This is the last business day before our court date! Wooohoooo!!!!

Week of Prayer - Day 4

Today is going to be a repeat request of Day 1, since the embassy in Ethiopia still does not have our updated fingerprint dates. Please pray that our paperwork would all end up in the right place, in the right hands, and done correctly by all the deadlines.

I'm spending today talking to the office of immigration in Indianapolis and the National Visa Center to have them re-send our information to the Embassy. Please pray that the people I talk to are helpful and that they actually do the work they say they will do.

Week of Prayer - Day 3

Please pray today that all of the external circumstances would work out for us to have a successful court date. There are about a million reasons that our court case could not be heard on Monday, starting with: the power might be out - for the day, or the court might be overbooked, or email or telephone communications be down, or the judge might be sick. We've heard lots of stories about court cases not happening on the day they are scheduled for reasons that we all take for granted in the U.S.

It has reminded us that actually it is God who is in control of all these things and they are all in His power to control, not ours. Pray that God would be please to allow our court date to happen on the 11th. Pray that all the little, or not so little things, that need to be working that day would work.

Psalm 115:1-3 "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Thy name give glory Because of Thy lovingkindness, because of Thy truth. Why should the nations say, “Where, now, is their God?” But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases."

Week of Prayer - Day 2

Today please pray for our son's birthmother and relatives. Whether they need to appear at court or not, pray that God would give them joy and hope and peace. If they are summoned to appear at court, pray that our agency is able to track them down and bring them up to the capital. Pray that that his birthmother would be assured that she made the right decision to give her baby boy up for adoption.

We are getting quite close and there is only one travel group before it is (Lord willing) our turn!

We welcomed a new niece into the world yesterday, Abrielle Larie Weeks! She is precious as we can't wait to bring her cousin home.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Week of Prayer - Day 1

We officially have one week until our court date! As it approaches we would love it if you joined us in prayer. About 70% of adoptions make it though their first court date, which means 30% do not. We are well aware of how out of our hands everything is and want to bring it all before God, who says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Please pray today that all our paperwork is correct and done on time. It amazes me how much paperwork is required, how many signatures needed, and how many hands the information gets processed through. Just last Friday I found out our first paperwork glitch and it amazes me that anything is ever done correctly on the first attempt.

Pray specifically that the embassy in Ethiopia would receive our updated fingerprint expiration dates, which are needed in order for us to get our son a visa to come home. As of Friday, they reported that they had not received it. This morning I have called the National Visa Center, who says they emailed it back in April and now I'm waiting to talk to our agency about what to do.

There are hundreds of little things like this that need to happen and I will be unaware of most of them. Pray that the people in Ethiopia and America who are filing papers for us are conscientious about details and do it correctly on the first try. Pray that communication is open to all the offices.

Thank you all and we hope and pray to post pictures of our official son next week!

3 weeks until court

That seems either very soon, or very far away, depending on how I look at it. If I think of all the things I want to get done before we leave for Ethiopia and bring home a baby, it seems really soon. But, when I actually think about our baby boy, I wish we were on a plane already!

Prayer requests for this week are:

• Wisdom for Joseph as to when/how to purchase our flight tickets
• That all the paperwork that is in process right now would be completed on time and correctly for our court date
• That if any relatives are summoned to court, they would be able to appear at court
• That we would pass court on the 11th and be able to travel on the 16th

Sometime before the end of the month, we will receive an update on our son, which is quite exciting and I can't wait to see new pictures of him!

32 days until court!

Not that I'm counting or anything :-)

May 11th can't come soon enough. Please do keep praying that all of our paperwork goes smoothly from here on out and that we do pass court on the 11th. Why wouldn't we pass court? Things like wrong names on paperwork, the electricity goes out in the capital city, a relative is summoned and doesn't show up, the judge is sick, a key signature is missing, court was overbooked and they didn't make it to our case, and on and on . . . you get the idea. With all of those things so clearly out of my control, I am being forced to prayer more often. It is a much better solution than worrying, which accomplishes nothing. So, I'm thankful for all the unknowns because it is driving me Christ and depending on Him. It would be quite encouraging to know that there are others praying for us as well.

In case you missed a previous post, if we DO pass court on the 11th, we will likely be leaving on the 16th, but may not receive the absolute "yes we are ready for you to come" until the 15th. That seems a wee bit stressful and scary to me, but thankfully I have a husband who is quite comfortable with last minute travel and decisions. So, he is handling all the flight/travel arrangements and I'm handling the packing, paperwork, and being ready for a baby when we get home.

My 5 questions

Sometime in the month of April we'll get some more pictures of our son and the answers to our 5 questions:
1. What date did he arrive at the AWA transition home?
2. What orphanage(s) was he in before coming to the transition home?
3. What does he eat (solids, what kind of formula) and when?
4. When and how does he sleep?
5. What makes him smile?

In the meantime, we're trying to figure out how to arrange travel, when we won't know concrete travel dates until a few days before, or the day before we need to leave. Since we want to go a week early, it makes things a bit tight. Thankfully I've heard back some helpful stuff from travel agents and our agency's travel coordinator.

Keep praying for May 11th and all the arrangements that need to happen before then.

It's Official-the referral that is

We officially accepted our referral this week, so our agency will begin petitioning for a court date. Today I also FedExed a care package to the Whipple family, who is traveling to Ethiopia next week. They'll deliver it to our son and share some pictures with us. So, next week our baby boy will have an awesome stuffed giraffe and two very cute outfits from us.

I'm beginning to get a bit intimidated by the 3 month wait we are in now. On one hand it's much happier to wait, knowing that we have a boy in Ethiopia. On the other hand, it's more painful because we are aware of missing every day with him. There are so many firsts in a baby's life and we're really sad to miss so many of them. I'm usually not a big fan of infants, preferring toddlers to infants, but this is making me appreciate what a gift it is to be a mother to a baby from day 1. So, all you mothers of spitter-uppers, poopers, and criers . . . take heart, and be thankful that you get to spend this year with your baby. I know it's not easy, and pretty stinky (literally), but it IS well worth it!

So, for the story . . .

Well, it's been quite the exciting life since Friday and we are so thankful for God's goodness to us. The excitement of receiving the referral call on Friday was followed by an all-church celebration of the marriage of Andrew and Kaitlyn Henry, which was followed by a Bayly-family celebration of our new baby, which was followed by a Sunday morning of praising God for both of those blessings.

Right after church, Joseph and I and Joseph's sister and brother-in-law drove to Toledo, Ohio, where we spent a night and morning with the David Bayly family, brothers and sisters at Christ the Word Church and with Douglas and Nancy Wilson. It was an incredibly encouraging time, and could take another blog post, but I won't do that now. We arrived back in Bloomington, and I'm now finally sitting down to write out the full referral story - you know, the female told version that includes all the details.

Friday morning began much the same way as each morning for the past two months has; wondering and hoping if today would be the day we would get our referral. I had been on a 'baby fast' for a few days to keep my sanity - this meant not checking the yahoo group or blogs trying to figure out if/when our referral would be, and not looking at baby gear. However, it was still always in my mind.

I rode the bus to Joseph's office to pick up our car, sat down in the driver's seat and saw a note on the windshield that said "Come talk to me," followed by a heart (which I read as an exclamation point). I smiled and hoped, but tried to check myself as I walked to his office door. He came out and said simply, "Michal called and you don't have to babysit this morning." I was disappointed, but there was nothing I could do about it, so I sat down to study some Latin and then met a friend for lunch before heading off to Latin class.

After Latin I walked back to Joseph's office to pick up our car and decided I would stop in and say hi to him. I knocked on his office window and he turned around with a big smile. We met at the door and he told me, "So, I was just sitting there figuring out how to get ahold of you. We've got to call Terra back. She said she has some good news for us." Then I smiled from ear to ear. After that we entered one of those surreal moments that you hope for for so long and can't quite grasp as real when it does come.

We called her back, put her on speaker phone and listened as she told us we had a 6 month old son. I didn't really catch much after that. The next thing we did was open up the referral email from Terra and look at his pictures. He was/is cute as cute can be and just looked like he should be our son. I doubted a bond could actually happen and I could get attached to a baby I'd never met, but, that's how it works. Then we opened the files about his information and found that he was already named part of the name we were going to give him! How amazing is that?!

We soaked up the next half hour together, reading about our son and looking at his picture. Then we decided to begin the phone calls.

We thought we would try the Bayly grandparents, but, knowing they were on their way back from Mexico, assumed we wouldn't get ahold of them. We didn't. So, we tried my mom at work and home. No answer. I didn't have my dad's cell phone number, so we moved to calling Joseph's oldest sister.

The phone rang and finally our 5-year-old nephew, Nathan answered. We both said hello and asked to talk to his mom. He very politely said "Just a moment, please" and we waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. After two minutes we began to yell at the phone "Hey!!! Pick us up!!!!" More silence. Finally Nathan came back on the phone to say "Mom said I have to go out. She's putting the baby to bed." Joseph and I laughed and decided we'd just tell Nathan first. So, we said, "Nathan, we have a baby!" His response, a deadpan "oh." We laughed and said to tell his mom we had a 6-month old baby boy. He said, "okay." We thanked him for praying for us and he said "you're welcome." So, that was our first reaction to telling someone the news . . . 'oh.' It still cracks me up.

The rest of the afternoon was spent doing a few more phone calls and then posting the news on the internet. We have been SO blessed by all the responses from so many of you! Some of my high school classmates even wrote back thrilled for us! We are so encouraged that you all get to share in our joy . . . some of you crying for joy at your desk. We love it and love you and LOVE our new baby boy.

P.S. Since he is not legally ours yet by Ethiopian standards, we can't share his name or picture on a public site. So, you'll have to wait until we pass our court date to see his beautiful face!

One *Big* Step Forward

We just got a call from our agency, letting us know that we have a new baby boy waiting for us! He is 6 months old, and weighs 13 pounds.

We are so excited and can't wait to bring Little Joseph Tate Bayly VII home. We will let you know more as we get the opportunity.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

-Joseph & Heidi

Phone Addiction

We've been at the top for one week now, and the days seem to be dragging by, particularly the hours between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. when we could receive the phone call that will make us parents. I don't have a cell phone (by choice), so this means that most of the time I would prefer to be at home where I can answer the phone if it happens to ring. This, of course, makes the days go by even slower, so I'm trying to branch out and get out and *gasp* even use the phone to make other calls (we don't have caller ID or call waiting either). 

Most recently I've been flying through Anna Karinina for a book club I'm in. I read Russian novels like other people read Jane Austen - quickly, getting lost in the characters. I'm almost half way through on page 356, so it should keep me occupied for at least another week. After that I may have to move on to War and Peace.

Do keep us in your prayers - that we would trust God with assigning the right child to our family, trust him with how/when we get the call, trust him with all that needs to happen afterwards. 

Love you all and I'll keep you posted.

What's After Referral?

After we get our much anticipated referral, here's a rough view of what will happen.

1. We'll turn in our referral acceptance letter as soon as possible.
2. AWA will petition for an Ethiopian court date.
3. We'll hear when our court hearing will be in Ethiopia. We don't need to be present since we signed power of attorney to an Ethiopian Representative. Court dates are usually 2-3 months after the referral date. (yep, you read that right, 2-3 months . . .)
4. More waiting. In the meantime, we'll start making travel arrangements on the assumption that we will pass our first court date.
5. Our court date in Ethiopia will happen. Please do start praying that we pass our first court date. About 30% of families don't pass their first court date and end up waiting for months longer before picking up their baby. Why don't they pass? Um . . . all kinds of reasons, mostly having to do with a third world court system and paperwork.
6. When we pass court, we'll finally travel to Ethiopia to pick up our new baby(ies)! We hope this will be this summer!
7. You all get to meet our baby(ies)!

Closer Still

We are quite happy to hear that there have been a couple more referrals this week, which means that we're right up there in line. About five couples turned in paperwork the same day we did, which means that there's kind of a tie for first place now. So, keep us and our baby(ies) in your prayers. We still don't know who they are, but are closer to finding out than we ever have been (which sounds exciting to say).

I never expected waiting to be so all-consuming. For most of the wait, I was able to think about other things, do other things, have my heart other places. As the call gets closer though, my heart is beginning to transfer to some baby in Ethiopia. So, for now my heart is in one place and my life in another. It kind of feels like my last semester in college, when Joseph and I were engaged, but still long-distance. The closer our wedding day got, the harder it was to wait. I remember walking around the Wheaton conservatory after a visit with Joseph repeating the mantra "This IS my life now" to try to stay invested in the present. So, I'm doing the same now - walking around Bloomington trying to make myself stay invested here and not live in the future. It's pretty hard though.

I'm also trying to avoid my apartment in the afternoon. When I'm there during AWA business hours I tend to just want to hold the phone and wait for it to ring. Rather pathetic - I know, but I can't help myself :-)

Dossier on its way!!!

We received a wonderful surprise yesterday and got our I-171H in the mail. So, this morning I drove up to Indy and got all our dossier documents certified. It was quite painless really and I was only in the office about 15 minutes. I enjoyed the beautiful early morning mist, treated myself to some Starbucks, and listened to the Wailin' Jennys. Then I came back and did all the copying and checking of documents. An inch (over 2 pounds) of paperwork is on its way to our agency and should be there tomorrow morning!!

Next, our agency will look over the dossier documents, making sure everything is flawless and complete. Then they will have it authenticated/certified by the United States somebody or other before sending it off to Ethiopia!

After that we are officially 'waiting.' Right now our agency is predicting a 5-9 month wait for a referral (when they send you a picture and files on a baby). Then we'll travel 1-2 months after that. We're hoping and praying for a Christmas baby, but we'll see what happens. I think we are joining over 60 families waiting for a referral.

When I returned from FedEx, I flipped over my day calendar on my desk and the verse for today was "Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles and refuse to let the world corrupt us." James 1:27 It was just confirmation that God does ordain such small things as the day our dossier gets mailed.

Praise God!!

Closer. . .

We're quite close to being done with paperwork. We just need the department of immigration to mail us an approval form (171-H) and get our life insurance finalized and we'll be set to have everything notarized, certified, and authenticated. So, pray that these two last pieces come quickly, as they are out of our control as far as speed goes. The 171-H takes anywhere from 2 weeks to two months to get delivered. We'd like the former.

Choosing an Agency

I'm not very motivated to write about things we've already done with adoption, especially this part because it was annoying. When choosing an agency, we looked around online at websites, yahoo groups, and talked with people about Ethiopia adoption programs. We considered how long they've been working in Ethiopia, how long their process is, how much their program costs, how professional they are, and what their reputation is with people who have adopted through them.

After looking into a number of them, we chose CHSFS, based in Minnesota, because they seemed like a clean machine as far as getting you through the process. They had worked in Ethiopia for a number of years and had quite a predictable course to follow. So, we eagerly sent off our application with them and began work on our homestudy. After sending in our application, I started to see stuff posted on yahoo boards about spanking being an issue with some agencies. Some require you to sign a statement saying you will never use spanking or slapping hands or any form of 'corporal punishment.' (On a side note, before we began adoption, I thought that 'corporal punishment' was something for people on death row in prisons or maybe extra special terrorists. I didn't know it included slapping a hand or a swat on the butt). Anyway, this caught my attention because Joseph and I do believe Biblical parenting includes using spanking as a form of discipline. I called our agency to make sure they did not have any hard line position on it. They assured me that they did not, and that they would just want to talk with Joseph and I about it, to make sure we weren't going to be abusive.

Over a month later we sent in our homestudy to be approved by CHSFS. As expected, someone called us about the one sentence in our homestudy, "Joseph and Heidi believe there are situations where corporal punishment is appropriate." This needs a separate post, so look for more later, but after our exchanges about spanking, CHSFS said they would not work with us anymore.

So, we were back where we started in September - looking for an agency. We were wary of signing up with a small Christian agency, based on some bad reports and unprofessionalism we knew about. Then we found America World Adoption. We were immediately impressed that they had a good website. After doing some research on yahoo groups again, we found nothing but good things about them. We also checked their website carefully for spanking and were relieved when we found they absolutely believe in Biblical parenting. We were further encouraged that Joseph's sister is friends with the woman going to Ethiopia to set up a transition home for AWA. All of these seemed like a go ahead and we sent in our application in December. We've been quite happy with them so far and look forward to continuing to work with them.

Lesson learned - when choosing an agency make sure you agree with their basic assumptions of what makes a good parent.

Deciding to adopt

Deciding to adopt was a bit intimidating for us, mostly because we knew it was a process that is aggravating, tedious, long and heartwrenching. Once we got over that, it just became a really annoying means to a fabulous end. When we think of the end result (our nephew Josiah is usually a great reminder of why we are doing this), we know it is all worth it. After talking with Heather and Archie and Kim Johnson, who have gone through international adoption, the whole process began to sound a bit more doable. Once we got out the Bible and began looking up the verses with 'orphan' in them, we became more convinced this was something for us and a beautiful way to bring a child into our lives.

Once we decided to go ahead with adoption, we had to decide what country. We always had Ethiopia in our mind, but wanted to look into other options as well. So, as we started looking into countries we discovered how strange the requirements for adoption are. We ran into many countries that do not allow couples under 30 to adopt. Others have a certain income requirement. China even has a body mass index you have to be under. Certain parts of India require that you have a statement from a doctor saying you are infertile. Most require that your youngest child in your home be at least two years old. Not all countries allow you to adopt infants and some don't allow you to adopt at all. Some programs require two separate trips. Certain eastern European countries have an expense titled "gifts to the local government." The total costs have a range of $20-$50+ depending on the country. Wait times are from 3 months to 3 years.

With all of these given, we quickly learned that our options were quite limited. We knew we wanted to adopt an infant (everyone else gets to begin parenting with a baby, why not us?) as soon as possible and that our financial resources were not unlimited. So, Ethiopia seemed to be the country for us. Now that we've begun to learn more about the country, we're loving it even more.