Birth and Death
As the time to get our referral comes closer, we are incredibly excited to meet our baby, find out how old they are, and see their picture. Sometimes just the thought of this is enough to make my heart race, my hands shake, and my eyes get teary. But, about that time, my tears turn to sadness rather than joy; Sadness because mixed with our joy of adopting a baby, is a mother's sorrow at giving up her child.
Somewhere in Ethiopia, is my child's mother. I don't know her, I don't know her circumstances, and I may never know. However, I do know that this is not a happy time for her. She has given birth to a baby and either immediately faced her own physical death, or an emotional death at deciding to give up her child.
But, don't all births have a tinge of death in them? I remember thinking after each of my three miscarriages, that it is a strange thing to go through labor pains, only to allow a baby to die. I thought this was unique to miscarriages or stillbirths, but as I thought more about it, this is true of all births.
As soon as we are born, we begin to die. The only variable is the amount of time that passes between birth and death. Call me morbid, but I find this incredibly encouraging.
Why is it encouraging? Because it points us to true life. It prevents me from looking to this life, or my baby's life to be THE thing. It makes us realize that, in Christ, the reverse is true. Only when we die do we begin to live. The gospel is "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John 12:24)" "For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:25)"
"For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. (Romans 14:7-9)."
Whether she knows it or not, my baby's biological mother is painting an incredible picture of Christ to her child. She is sacrificing her life, either physically or emotionally, so that her baby may have life.
I hope some of this makes sense. I'm only beginning to put this into words. I will hopefully have the next 18 years of my child's life to speak it to them.
Somewhere in Ethiopia, is my child's mother. I don't know her, I don't know her circumstances, and I may never know. However, I do know that this is not a happy time for her. She has given birth to a baby and either immediately faced her own physical death, or an emotional death at deciding to give up her child.
But, don't all births have a tinge of death in them? I remember thinking after each of my three miscarriages, that it is a strange thing to go through labor pains, only to allow a baby to die. I thought this was unique to miscarriages or stillbirths, but as I thought more about it, this is true of all births.
As soon as we are born, we begin to die. The only variable is the amount of time that passes between birth and death. Call me morbid, but I find this incredibly encouraging.
Why is it encouraging? Because it points us to true life. It prevents me from looking to this life, or my baby's life to be THE thing. It makes us realize that, in Christ, the reverse is true. Only when we die do we begin to live. The gospel is "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John 12:24)" "For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:25)"
"For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. (Romans 14:7-9)."
Whether she knows it or not, my baby's biological mother is painting an incredible picture of Christ to her child. She is sacrificing her life, either physically or emotionally, so that her baby may have life.
I hope some of this makes sense. I'm only beginning to put this into words. I will hopefully have the next 18 years of my child's life to speak it to them.
posted by Heidi Bayly at
12:58 PM
1 Comments:
Dear Heidi,
Thank you for the encouragement and your Godliness.
I was rereading "Till We Have Faces" and Lewis echoes this death through childbirth:
(Psyche and Orual are talking before Psyche's sacrifice)
"But, Sister, you will follow me soon. You don't think any mortal life seems a long thing to me tonight? And how would it be better if I had lived? I suppose I should have been given to some king in the end--perhaps such another as our father. And there you can see again how little difference there is between dying and being married. To leave your home--to lose you, Maia, and the Foz--to lose one's maidenhead--to bear a child--they are all deaths."
I am praying that God provides you and Joseph with a quiver full of children and for patients in the mean time.
Love,
Kristen
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