Longer Wait

As of a few weeks ago, it seems that we will not be receiving a referral in 2008. While this is disappointing, an extra month or two of sanctification won't hurt.

When tempted to give up faith that this adoption will ever be complete, or that Joseph and I will ever have a baby in our family, I've been reminded of the expectation for salvation in Christ. We long for a sinful, poopy, (but cute) baby to come in to our lives and actually believe that this baby will give us joy. How much more should we long for Christ, who is perfect, who humbled himself to become a human baby, took on the shame and guilt of our sins, and through whom we can have fellowship with God the Father? How much more must all the faithful from Abraham to Joseph and Mary, have longed for the birth of Christ? So, once again, I'm so very thankful to God for sanctifying me and for knowing what is best for me.

This morning I re-read a poem that has put words to my heart for the last four years. It seems to become more true each time I read it. It's one from my favorite old friend, Elizabeth Prentiss.

The Gift

I asked of Thee a gift, Jesus, my Lord,
And my expectant eyes looked up, to see
That blessing speedily from Thy dear Hand
Come down to me.

I waited, but it came not; asked again,
And thought to see it come in angel-guise,
And when it lingered, found no words to tell
My sad surprise.

Dear Savior, have I asked amiss, I cried,
What was there lacking in my earnest prayer
Did it seek heaven upon too weak a faith
To enter there?

Full long I pondered, hoping that the gift
For which I earnestly my Lord besought,
Would, if attained, fill my whole soul with love,
And holy thought.

But as He still denied it, did not choose
To give it me, I cast and threw my will
Down at His feet, and bid it there to lie,
Patient and still.

Should not the Hand so bountiful to me,
Reserve the right to choose for me my good,
Should I not glory in His ways, if they
Were understood?

Thus musing, to my closet yet once more
I stole, if only lovingly to say,
Do what Thou wilt, dear Lord, for Thy "sweet will,"
Is mine, alway.

When lo, within that closet, waiting me,
I found the risen Christ, and oh what grace,
What love, what beauty and what tenderness,
Shone in His face!

And thus He spake, "That was but seeming good,
Thy childish ignorance so boldly craved,
Withholding it My love protected thee,
From danger saved.

But I have come instead; yes, here am I,
Thy longed-for Savior; lean upon by breast,
Thy disappointment shall give place to joy,
To peace and rest!"

Ah Lord! Too sacred was that wondrous hour!
The veil that hides it let no mortal lift;
Great was the grace I sought, but oh how small
Beside Thy gift!