Being a Father

Imagine this:

You are in Ethiopia and you've had your son for less than a day, and you think he might have a fever and be acting weird (but you don't really know because you've just met him), and the other parents at the embassy say that it looked like a large spit-up that got all over you, not throw-up; but then he hasn't eaten since the morning and you're back in the room at the guest house trying to get him to take a bottle but he's completely limp and not eating very much. So you try some of the mush instead. No dice. He starts to spit up--another big one, so you dash for the bathroom.

And standing over the sink, looking at your son in the mirror, you see the continuing flow of spit-up running over your arm into the sink change color and consistency. Yellow. Smooth. It's bile. And then, with his whole body completely limp, and his head resting awkwardly on your arm, he looks in your eyes and your son starts dry-heaving.

And adding to the surreal quality of the situation, he's not crying. He hasn't all day.

You think, "We need a doctor."

And then you think, "We're in Africa."

Staring helplessly into the mirror you call to your wife and ask her to get some paper towel or toilet paper. She helpfully points out that there is toilet paper right next to you as she comes in and tears some off for you.

And you're thinking, "I can't handle this!" so you hand him to your wife and, in order to keep from breaking down, you go to the kitchen sink and start washing the clothes your wife was just working on. A few minutes later you find her in the bedroom taking his temperature, and as you walk up you see it register 101.4.

You don't need your wife to tell you that is really high, but she does anyway. You look at your son, and you can see the sweat all over his head. His eyes are glazed over. You wonder whether he will live.

And how long you are going to be in Ethiopia with him in the hospital? And will your insurance cover the costs?

Convinced you need a doctor, your wife confirms it by asking if you had heard that one of the other adoptive fathers was a doctor. Yes you had. You're miles ahead of her.

As you pray for your son and for strength, you attempt to prepare yourself to go ask for help. Chances are slim that you can announce this to your wife without sobbing, and so you delay, practicing the words in your head. You know full well that the first person who Speke to you outside of the room is not going to be prepared for a complete breakdown from you, but you doubt it can be helped. So you figure you better communicate in as few words as possible. You consider trying to say the words, "My son needs help." before you become completely unintelligible. Frankly, you probably won't make it past "My son..."

Your wife announces that she's going to go ask somebody how much baby Advil to give him since they don't put dosage amounts for under 2 years old. As she leaves you think, "It's baby Advil. It's for babies! They don't tell you how much to use?!"

When your wife returns she tells you that his temperature is actually only 99 according to a "better" thermometer. She gives him some Advil, and you lie down on the couch with your son sweating on your chest. You put a damp towel on his head and you pray.

Half an hour later he wakes up and he's fine. He drinks some water. He drinks some milk. He keeps them down.

Congratulations. Your eight month old has survived a low-grade fever.

As you thank God for his answer to your prayers, you realize what it means to be a father. You thank God for your son, and you give him back to God.

Taveling in Ethiopia

Made it safe back in Addis. We had the most fabulous trip around the
country! Here are a few previews of our week before some longer posts
when we get home.

1. Stopped by a hut near our son's birthplace and were greeted by the
family and a few interested field workers. The wife had just had a
baby 15 days prior.
2. Shared the road with many people, goats, and cows.
3. Learned not to pull the water flush string on the hole toilets
unless you are out of the stall. Glad I had waterproof boots :-)
4. Drank lots of delicious coffee.
5. Had a grilled tilapia served to us whole, with a hot pepper stuffed
in it's mouth and a tomato skewered on it's fins.
6. Walked in to a home in Hossana and Tasted some Ethiopian moonshine.
7. Ate corn cooked and sold by the side of the road.
8. Got a flat tire.
9. Stopped to see a python recently smashed in the head by a local.
10. Drove/walked through the bush to Lake Chamo for a boat trip. Saw
many hippos and drifted in to a huge croc!
11. Heidi threw up breakfast on a hotel pathway, buried it and decided
her malaria pills are not worth it.
12. Impressed the Dorze with ability to eat spicy chili powder and
shake our booty.
13. Attended a rousing bonfire with the Konsol people. Lots of dancing
and singing ensued.
14. Heidi was terrified to wake up to a strange man spraying her bed
with mosquioto spray in his underwear. She prepared to hit and kick
him.
15. Joseph was shocked when his wife began making terrified gasps at
him while he re-covered her bed with bug spray. Was more shocked when
she violently pushed him away!
16. Visited churches from the 10th and 12th century carved out of rock.
17. Joseph bought a round of a traditional drinks for 10 college girls.
18. Heidi danced with an Ethiopian man who was wearing a goat skin.
19. Finally learned how to say thank you in Amharic but can't spell it.

We love it here and can't wait to meet our son tomorrow!

Traveling This Weekend!

We received news that we are a go for traveling this weekend. We're packing and gathering all our things to head out on Saturday afternoon. We'll be gone for a week of traveling around Ethiopia and then spend Memorial Day - May 29th doing adoption stuff in Addis.

It's so exciting it doesn't even seem real to me. I just keep wondering if I'm allowed to receive this much blessing in two weeks. Seriously, I can't even conceive of the fact that I'm leaving for Africa or bringing home a son. (I also still haven't cried - at all for the last two months. I've woken up smiling every day, but no tears yet. Pray that the inevitable flood of tears comes at a good moment :-)

Our travel guide sent us the following description of our trip:

• Driving south to our son's birth city.
• Drive to Nech Sar national park to see the endemic Wayne’s hearte beaste, Burchel’s Zebra, Kudus and Gazelles. A boat trip on Lake Chamo to see the largest crocodiles in the world some of which are up to 7mt long.
• Drive back to Addis, en route visit the Dorze village and market, A long section of the road offers magnificent views of lake Abaya, surrounded by mountains. The lake has volcanic origins and is almost pink in color. Next we visit the Dorze, one of the many small groups of southern Ethiopia. Once warriors, the Dorze have now turned to farming and weaving to earn a living. Their success in the field of weaving has been phenomenal and the Dorze name is synonymous with best woven cotton cloth. Each amazing Dorze bamboo house has its own small garden surrounded by beds of spices, cabbage and tobacco. Our overnight stay is in a modest hotel, but one that has a panoramic view over lakes Abaya and Chamo.
• Fly to Bahir Dar on the shores of Laka Tana, the source of the Blue Nile. Take a scenic drive to the Blue Nile Falls, which is known locally as Tiss Issat Falls. The fall is 100 meters wide and the water plunges 45 meters below, giving rise to steam clouds and rainbows. Those who may wish to descend to the base of the falls must climb back up the other side and cross the Nile in a papyrus boat (locally known as "Tankwas") in order to return to the point of departure. Afternoon we take a boat cruise on beautiful Lake Tana, the largest lake in Ethiopia. There are 37 islands on the lake and 30 of them have churches and monasteries of considerable historical and cultural interest. Some of the islands are forbidden to women. We visit the monastery church of Ura Kidane Mihret that allows both genders.
• Fly to Lalibela. We drive to the site where we find a concentration of some of Ethiopia’s famous rock-hewn churches, built in the 12th century and attributed to King Lalibela. In his youth, King Lalibela was attracted to monastic life and later made a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. After he came to power, he had these amazing churched created without using mortar or wood. Elaborately carved into solid rock, they were all completed in just a 23-year span. The largest, Bete Medani Alem, is 100 feet long, 70 feet wide, 35 feet high, and has walls that are up to six feet thick. Its basilica has five naves. This particular church is though to be a copy of the great cathedral of Saint Mary of Zion, built in the Ethiopian city of Axum in the 4th century.
• We will have a mule ride (it is also possible to trek to the place for about 2 hours) to Asheton Mariam Monastery a cave church built in 12th centaury at the dramatic scenic beauties of Lasta mountain ranges with the front view of Abune Yosef Mountain chain which is the 4th highest point in the country. We will walk back or mule ride to the town for lunch and in the afternoon we There are no less than 1000 churches in the Lasta region of Lalibela, some hidden in enormous caves. After lunch, we continue our journey into Ethiopia’s long and marvelous history with a visit to other of Lalibela’s remarkable churches-their architecture and artistry must be seen to believe.

Then we fly back to Addis and have a day to sleep and hopefully catch some of the Sovereign Grace Church service in Addis.

Monday we meet up with our adoption group and begin paperwork for our consulate appointment. The adoption week is the following:
Monday (Memorial Day) Meet our son!!!! Do more paperwork - blah.
Tuesday - Tate stays with us for ever :-)
Wednesday - Consulate appointment
Thursday - Free day
Friday - Get Tate's visa and fly home.

So, needless to say we'll be exhausted by the time we come home! We trust it will be well worth it though.

We're not taking a computer with us and the internet connection in Ethiopia is very, very slow, so we probably won't be posting while we're gone. We will give you a full report when we get back though!

Pray for:

• Safe travels for us and our luggage
• Preparation for all of us as we transition to being a family
• Health for us and Tate
• Sleep for us and adjustments to jet lag
• Patience for Joseph and me as we travel and deal with, well, traveling
• That we would be able to get a good view of life in Ethiopia and give as well as receive
• That we would make all our flights (international and domestic) on time
• The long flight home with our new son

Thank you all so much and we can't wait to come home with our son!!

Baby Nursery

We have a baby corner dedicated in our apartment, and I think it's pretty cute. I found a great deal on a crib at a garage sale and painted a wood dresser I found by our dumpster. Tate is set with stuffed animals. We mailed him a baby giraffe, in his nursery are 3 teddy bears, one owl, and one highland cow with a rather aggressive moo.


This is one of the quilts my Mom made for our new son. It's quite awesome and has embroidered African animals all over it.

Keep praying

After great news yesterday, we are sobered by finding out how few families passed court in the last two days from our agency. I only know of one other family out of 6 or so who have had court cases the last two days. I don't know why He saw fit to have us pass, but I am SO thankful!

MOWA and the Ethiopian courts have begun to require lots of investigation into abandonment cases, which means that families with children who were abandoned now have to wait longer. Many of them were just as close to traveling as we are, but now are in an undefined waiting time, again. Pray that Ethiopian adoptions will be able to continue and that MOWA would be able to put measures in place to speed up the process.

Also, we should find out tomorrow if we can travel on Saturday using the plane tickets we've already purchased. Pray that tomorrow in Ethiopia is a very productive day for our case and that all of Tate's paperwork and appointments can be put in order for us to come. Also pray that the Embassy would confirm that they have received our fingerprint update.

Thank you all so much for the hundreds of prayers on our behalf!

Tie Dye and Hemp

I've had quite a lot of fun the last few weeks getting things ready for Tate to come home. My favorites have been the hemp diapers and tie-dye onsies, although I'm pretty proud of my diaper bag too. Mom and I made 20 diapers out of hemp/cotton fleece one weekend. Joseph even got in on the fun and sewed together the soakers. Here is the end result.



Last Sunday Lizzie, Hannah, Dani, and Kris came over to have a tie-dye party. We've been looking forward to an excuse to do this for years and are so happy to have finally done it. We dyed socks, a crib sheet, and about 30 onsies! We also dyed our front steps a bit, but I think it's a nice touch :-) Thank you Sebra for the awesome dye! We made all these colors from red, blue, and yellow. Here are some of my favorites.



Lizzie did this perfect bulls-eye one. She's definitely invited to all my tie-dye parties.


And for a 4th of July outfit we have this one:

This is the diaper bag I made. It's from the leftover fabric that Anna used for my baby carrier and is lined with purple linen, which makes me smile. I even put a zipper and pockets in it! I'm pretty proud of myself whenever I have a successful sewing project because I really don't know how to sew. Every project is purely experimental - ask my mom, she'll tell you.

Introducing Joseph Tate Bayly VII

"Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Who can speak of the mighty deeds of the Lord, or can show forth all His praise? How blessed are those who keep justice, who practice righteousness at all times." ~Psalm 106

He's ours!!! We got a call this morning that we passed court, 100% passed! Woooohooooo!!!!!!!! Now we can finally post pictures of our new son. I think he's the best looking boy ever. The first two are our referral pictures.


The next ones are the pictures the Whipple family took for us last month. They took a care package over to him and sent us some pictures back. Thank you Whipples!! It was a crazy time and all the babies were a bit freaked out.


These are the most recent pictures from his April update that we received last week.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for praying for us these many months and specifically over this weekend. This is a great way to start the week!!!

We should hear in the next few days if they'll be ready for us to come the end of May. If so, we'll fly out on this Saturday and travel around the country for a week before heading to Addis to pick him up!

Week of Prayer - Day 7

Today keep Joseph and me in your prayers. Sometime in the next 24 hours our court case is scheduled to be held. Hopefully we will hear tomorrow, Monday, if we passed or not and if Tate is legally our son. We'll let you all know as soon as we know. Pray that we respond to whatever news we receive with faith and hope and that we would get some sleep tonight as we eagerly wait to find out the outcome.

Check back tomorrow for news!

Week of Prayer - Day 6

Today please pray for our son, Tate. Pray that he would somehow be prepared for the massive changes that are about to happen in his life. He has no idea what is coming and one day will just begin to live life with new people, then fly to a new home where he'll experience more new people, new smells, new sounds, new everything. Pray that he adjusts well and stays healthy though the transition.

Week of Prayer - Day 5

Today please pray for MOWA (Ethiopia's social services type organization). They are a very busy office and with the number of adoptions going through Ethiopia right now, they have a difficult time keeping up. There is one letter in particular that needs to be written by them for our court case. Many times this is written the day of the court date, so if anything goes wrong, it causes a delay. Pray that the letter would be written on time and correctly. Also pray for MOWA as they increase staffing and computer equipment to keep up with the increasing demands of time.

Also pray for our son's original orphanage. They will need to submit his original paperwork and information. They are not located in the capital city, so pray that everything makes it to court on Monday (Monday is SO soon!!!).

God has brought me back to being in submission and dependance on Him in this whole process through the fingerprint update glitch. A praise that yesterday I was able to talk with people at the National Visa Center, who actually were very helpful AND called me back after looking into our case. I also FINALLY figured out how to talk to a real, live person at the USCIS office in Indianapolis! It only took me a year to figure that one out, but I realized that all the emails from them had a name at the bottom, so I went from the automated voice menu to the directory to enter someone's name in and Voila! a real, live person answered the phone! If you want info, just email me and I'd be happy to share :-)

What has been going on with our fingerprint update is that the NVC (National Visa Center) began uploading updates instead of emailing them to the Embassy in Addis. The Embassy did not know this and were still looking for emails, not knowing they had to go to another site and download the updates. The NVC assured me that our updates are uploaded and ready for them to download the information. Our agency rep. is quite confident that the NVC and Embassy will communicate and get this figured out by Monday. Apparently there are a number of families who are in the same boat and they are taking care of it. So, praise God!! Mostly I'm so thankful I was able to get through to people on the phone. I don't always have internet at home, so that was very helpful!

Keep praying!!! This is the last business day before our court date! Wooohoooo!!!!

Week of Prayer - Day 4

Today is going to be a repeat request of Day 1, since the embassy in Ethiopia still does not have our updated fingerprint dates. Please pray that our paperwork would all end up in the right place, in the right hands, and done correctly by all the deadlines.

I'm spending today talking to the office of immigration in Indianapolis and the National Visa Center to have them re-send our information to the Embassy. Please pray that the people I talk to are helpful and that they actually do the work they say they will do.

Week of Prayer - Day 3

Please pray today that all of the external circumstances would work out for us to have a successful court date. There are about a million reasons that our court case could not be heard on Monday, starting with: the power might be out - for the day, or the court might be overbooked, or email or telephone communications be down, or the judge might be sick. We've heard lots of stories about court cases not happening on the day they are scheduled for reasons that we all take for granted in the U.S.

It has reminded us that actually it is God who is in control of all these things and they are all in His power to control, not ours. Pray that God would be please to allow our court date to happen on the 11th. Pray that all the little, or not so little things, that need to be working that day would work.

Psalm 115:1-3 "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Thy name give glory Because of Thy lovingkindness, because of Thy truth. Why should the nations say, “Where, now, is their God?” But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases."

Week of Prayer - Day 2

Today please pray for our son's birthmother and relatives. Whether they need to appear at court or not, pray that God would give them joy and hope and peace. If they are summoned to appear at court, pray that our agency is able to track them down and bring them up to the capital. Pray that that his birthmother would be assured that she made the right decision to give her baby boy up for adoption.

We are getting quite close and there is only one travel group before it is (Lord willing) our turn!

We welcomed a new niece into the world yesterday, Abrielle Larie Weeks! She is precious as we can't wait to bring her cousin home.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Week of Prayer - Day 1

We officially have one week until our court date! As it approaches we would love it if you joined us in prayer. About 70% of adoptions make it though their first court date, which means 30% do not. We are well aware of how out of our hands everything is and want to bring it all before God, who says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Please pray today that all our paperwork is correct and done on time. It amazes me how much paperwork is required, how many signatures needed, and how many hands the information gets processed through. Just last Friday I found out our first paperwork glitch and it amazes me that anything is ever done correctly on the first attempt.

Pray specifically that the embassy in Ethiopia would receive our updated fingerprint expiration dates, which are needed in order for us to get our son a visa to come home. As of Friday, they reported that they had not received it. This morning I have called the National Visa Center, who says they emailed it back in April and now I'm waiting to talk to our agency about what to do.

There are hundreds of little things like this that need to happen and I will be unaware of most of them. Pray that the people in Ethiopia and America who are filing papers for us are conscientious about details and do it correctly on the first try. Pray that communication is open to all the offices.

Thank you all and we hope and pray to post pictures of our official son next week!