Confessions of a Mother

It's 2 a.m. and I can't fall asleep. I tried for two hours, but at 1 when I realized I was kicking my legs around, I decided to just get up. Mostly I couldn't fall asleep because I was lazy, lazy, lazy today and instead of working hard I took a nap, bummed around some stores, and watched a movie. So, surprise, surprise, my body doesn't think it needs any rest.

I picked up my Bible for the first time today and read a chapter in Proverbs and a couple in Acts.

Now that I do actually have a son, there are all kinds of things in Proverbs that are suddenly, painfully convicting. I always knew that the Bible said parents should discipline their children and I always agreed and wondered what the fuss was about. Then we got rejected by our first adoption agency, Children's Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS), precisely because our homestudy said we "believed there were times that corporal punishment was appropriate." They even sent us propaganda by a certified DOCTOR, who set out to correct the ignorant Christians who actually interpret the Bible literally!! One section in particular, still makes my blood boil. Dr. Spears claims that 'the rod' is merely a symbol of authority and really the rod is never used on the sheep, but to fend off outside attackers . . . hmmm, so should I slap the electrical outlet? It is found near the end of the article on http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp#back

It makes me angry precisely because I want to believe it and because discipline is hard. My job would be so much easier if I didn't have to slap hands and a bottom and teach my son, but rather rely on emotional manipulation to control my son's behavior. I am a woman, afterall, and we're born master-manipulators.

But, God's word is wiser than the latest parenting advice, even from a DOCTOR, and when He says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother" (Proverbs 29:15), I actually believe it *gasp* literally. I'd also like to believe that discipline is really just Joseph's job. That allows him to be the bad guy and me to be the comforting mother who saves my son from discipline; but no, God says a child who gets his own way brings shame to me, his mother. "A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother." (Prov. 10:1)

I also really don't want to believe that Tate is foolish, because it makes me realize how foolish I am. I hate correcting his foolishness because it opens up my heart to be disciplined by my heavenly Father. "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." (Prov. 22:15)

God knows me, he knows I'll be tempted to look the other way when Tate reaches for something I said no to, so he tells me that if I do actually love my son, I'll be faithful to discipline him and if I don't, I hate him. "He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently" (Prov. 13:24) I will love my son, sorry Dr. Spears.

I hate continually disciplining him because I really don't want God to slap my bum numerous times for the same, stupid sin. I'd rather believe the lie that disobedience doesn't actually have consequences and sin doesn't actually lead to death. But, again, God nails me. "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." (Prov. 23:13-14) "Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death." (Prov. 19:18)

There are also some beautiful promises that are only claimed by faith. "Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul." (Prov. 29:17)

So, I've been praying "My son, if your heart is wise, my own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right." (Prov. 23:15-16)

Family Tour

We just returned from a whirlwind tour to meet a lot o' family, thus the lack of posting. We started out in Sawyer, Michigan at the Taylor family reunion. The Taylor family is . . . um . . . large, and we were curious to see how Tate would handle it. He was a perfect traveler, sleeping in the car and at night and at nap time, and met so many people, he nailed down his waving technique. He also learned to clap his hands, which he now does anytime he is bored or wants to impress someone. Here he is with a picture of Grandma with the Great-grandchildren who were present on Friday. He is over on the far right.

Tate also experienced the beach for the first time in his life. He was a trooper about it, even when a large wave knocked him over in the sand. He lay there and looked like he was thinking, "hmmm...that was a new experience."
At one point he was so covered in sand that he looked like a giant cinnamon-sugar doughnut, but we unfortunately did not have the camera.
Tate did great with most adults. The exception being with Grandma Taylor's live-in helper, Tsige. She is an Ethiopian young woman and we told her to speak Amharic to Tate to see what he would do. He flipped out. He screamed, panicked, and searched the room for me. It was rather sad. I guess he is not at all interested in changing languages again. After a brief afternoon visit with a couple of college roommates, we headed over to Pardeeville, Wisconsin to meet my clan.

Farms are great places for kids and Tate found lots to entertain himself with. We visited my uncle's farm, where my aunts, cousins, and grandparents still work.

My grandparent's house is rather romantic to me, mostly because I have no part in taking care of it. My grandfather was born in this house and has lived here ever since.
Since retiring, my Dad has taken over the old grainery as a shop. He recently made some improvements and named it "Redneck Workshop."
Grandma and Grandpa are having fun with Tate. He even convinced them to put on bathing suits and jump in our neighbor's pool.
Joseph got some quality bonding time with the boy, which they both enjoyed.
We set Tate in the lake the first night we were home. Grandma held on to a little rope and he swam like a fish.
We also took a trip to the Madison zoo, where Tate had the most fun touching the glass on the tiger cage. The tiger walked right in front of him several times and he just watched it pace back and forth. For meeting over 125 people in one week, Tate's doing really, really well. He is even getting his top teeth, which he barely lets us know about. Tonight we're leaving him with Aunt Michal for a few hours so Mommy and Daddy can go on their first date since we brought him home. Yippeee!

This boy is great and we love him more and more all the time. I'm beginning to be sad about how much he's growing up already! He made his first climb up steps at my parents' house!